One of the most rewarding parts about running a race is crossing the finish line. You throw your hands up in the air, wave them around like you just don't care, and then you collect your finisher medal and you're on your merry way. Then you get home and think, what the hell do I do with this? At first they are great! You hang them proudly, reminders of the huge accomplishments.
You take selfies with them so you can humble brag to all your friends what a bad ass you are.
Then you get bit by the running bug and the medals multiply at an alarming speed. You go from 4 medals to 100 billion in a year and soon enough, you are out of space. I suggest we stop awarding finisher medals altogether! Here are 10 things I'd rather have than a finisher medal:
1. A Puppy And/Or Kitten.
I'd PR if I knew there were a puppy or a kitten waiting for me at the finish line.
2. A Cheeseburger (Preferably In-N-Out).
Why isn't there a In-N-Out half marathon? And why don't people give out burgers when you cross a finish line?
3. An Entire Pizza.
Can you imagine running a marathon and having someone go, "Congratulations. Here's a pizza." ALL THE HAPPY TEARS!
4. A Beer.
I want someone to hand me a beer moments after I cross the finish line.
I would really like to run the "Cupcake half marathon" where you eat a cupcake every mile of the race. Can someone help me organize that?
6. A Chub of Cookie Dough.
Want to know what goes great with Mylar blankets? Cookie dough.
Nike knows whats up. They don't just give you a finisher necklace from Tiffany's but they get a handsome devil to hand it to you.
8. A Bubble Gun.
There is nothing more fun than a bubble gun.
9. A Pinata.
I take that back, there is only one thing more fun than a bubble gun and that's a pinata.
10. Confetti Cannons.
I take that bag again, there is one thing more fun than both a bubble gun and a pinata, and that's a confetti cannon. Can you imagine crossing a finish line and then shooting off confetti? Yes please!
What would you like to see instead of a finisher medal? Until next time, #RunSelfieRepeat.