It doesn't matter if you're the most athletic person in the world or if you don't have an athletic bone in your body, becoming a runner sucks. As former President of the I f*cking hate running club, I can assure you that falling in love with running, though difficult, isn't impossible. Let's all bond over the 14 worst parts about being a new runner --
1. Sucking wind.
Sucking wind sucks. It hurts, it burns and nothing is worse than feeling like you're going to pass out.
2. Sore muscles.
That's right, all sore muscles all the time.
3. Trying to wrap your head around the fact that 3 miles is further than you'd drive for cookie dough.
3 miles feels really, really, really far right? That's because it is, it's really far.
4. Finding clothes that look good, feel good and keep you warm enough/cool enough.
Too many layers and you're screwed. Not enough layers and you're screwed. HOW DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT TO WEAR?!?! Don't worry, you'll figure out what works for you. A good rule of thumb is to add 10 degrees to whatever temperature it is and always overdress. Better to wrap a layer around your waist than freeze.
I don't care how long you've been running, it can get really boring.
7. Talking to yourself like a crazy person.
Get used to it, you're now a crazy person.
8. Being really, really, really slow.
Being slow is expected and you will get faster with time. Be patient.
9. Curating the perfect running playlist.
And then figuring out how not to get sick of it...
10. Random aches and pains.
Hip pain, knee pain, ankle pain, butt pain...your entire body will just start hurting all the time.
11. Feeling self conscious.
From neighbors to strangers, you oddly get really self conscious about letting anyone see your run.
12. Side cramps.
They never go away...
13. Stressing about acknowledging other runners.
"Do I wave? Or do they wave? Do I smile? I'll wave, oh sh*t they didn't wave back. That was weird..."
14. Running itself.
Because running sucks when you're just getting started. But stick with it because it really does get better.
What was your least favorite part about being a new runner? Until next time, #RunSelfieRepeat.