This weekend I did my first 13 miler after taking it easy for 2 weeks and I had a little mental breakdown about 9 miles in. I ran up the west side highway, picked up my sister in Hells Kitchen, and we took off together towards Central Park. I stopped to grab a Gatorade from a vendor and told my sister I would catch up with her. RIGHT when I caught her, she veered left and took off towards the Jackie O Reservoir. Turns out she pulled over to get a drink of water but I was like, great now I have to run the next 5 alone. Around mile 9 I started to get bored. I RARELY get bored when I run so it spooked me. I started thinking about the amount of training I have left and then I began doing math in my brain, and when I do math when I run I start to panic because I make mountains out of mole hills and then I started doubting myself. I started asking myself, “Why are you running another marathon, you can’t do it.” “This is hopeless,” and “You’ll never be ready” thoughts. All of which are completely bogus but it’s daunting knowing you are going to spend your weekends for the next 3 months running 14-20 miles. I'm all this is the standing date from hell! BUT IT’S NOT! I love running! I just had one small moment of insecurity and it turned into a giant mess.
So in liu of my 13 mile meltdown, here are 10 words and phrases I am making a conscious effort to cut out of my vocabulary. Why? Because they are the weeds of the English language and suck the life out of everything struggling to grow. If you find yourself standing on the edge between taking a leap of faith or playing it safe, it’s these phrases that plant your feet firmly in the safe zone when you really should be jumping off the cliff. Whether it’s asking for a raise, deciding to change jobs or professions, proclaiming your love for someone, asking someone out on a date, going to mixers to network, coming out to your friends or family, signing up for an endurance race, making a life change, getting out of bed in the morning, or getting yourself to train for a marathon, these words and phrases DO NOT serve you. They stop you from stepping out of your comfort zone and from bettering yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. So let’s all just hold hands and have a little moment of silence for some of our favorite safe words that used to hold us back and stop us from being the best people we can be. May they rest in peace.
“I can’t ask him out, he would have asked me out if he liked me.” “I couldn’t ask for a raise, I don’t want to rock the boat.” “I won’t be ready to run a marathon.”
Can’t, couldn’t, and won’t is that little critic that tells you you’re not good enough or that there’s no use in trying. Always try, always ask, and always know that you are capable.
“I will never be good enough for my mother in law.”
Yeah, not so much. Chances are any time you say never you are just voicing the fact that you don’t see what you already are. So start there.
“I’m sorry to bother you but…”
This applies more to your work but honestly sorry has no place in the workplace. Don’t be polite. Don’t be a complete asshole either, but stop holding yourself back. Stop hiding, hold your ground, work as a team, and always believe in what you are doing. Don’t apologize for doing your job. Speak up.
“It’s impossible for me to feel comfortable speaking in front of strangers.”
Almost nothing is impossible. Impossible is almost always an excuse. It’s just another mountain to climb and overcome. Find the tools you need to overcome the things you think are impossible.
“I didn’t know what to say, it was so embarrassing.” “I don’t want to dance, that’s embarrassing.” “I fell down and it was so embarrassing.”
I get it, doing something embarrassing isn’t easy. But once you stop caring about what people think you will realize you should be the one embarrassed for them. Be silly. Laugh more. Don’t be afraid of how people perceive you, just be you. If someone doesn’t like you or thinks your annoying, run far away from that person. Count your lucky stars you aren’t the one throwing shade.
“My marriage is a failure.”
Stop it. The only way you can fail is if you stop yourself from trying. Sometimes all the effort and “right” ways of doing things still produce unfavorable outcomes. You can’t let failure get in your way. You’re going to fail, so fail better.
“I have the worst luck.”
Well, maybe you should find more pennies that are heads up…no but seriously; luck is timing and sometimes the timing is off. Telling yourself you’re unlucky is another way to just expect bad things to happen to you.
I don’t have time
“I would love to (Date, train for a half marathon, lose weight) but I don’t have time.”
Excuses, excuses. Find time and make it happen. We all do it or know someone who’s making it happen so we know it’s possible. Take a 30 minute lunch break, wake up early, leave work at 6 or 7 a few days a week. Carve the time because you aren’t going to live forever. Take care of yourself.
Not meant to be
“I didn’t get the promotion; I guess it’s just not meant to be.”
Sure, sometimes it’s just not meant to be but when things don’t go according to plan, change with the tide. I don’t personally believe something is or isn’t meant to be. I think things just happen. Don’t fold your cards, always play them.
I’m Not Good Enough
“I am not/will never be good enough.”
MY LEAST FAVORITE! You will never possess all the qualifications, you will never have what someone else has, and you will never know what you are doing. We can all agree on that yes? Stop stressing about what you don’t have and start focusing on what you do. And stop saying you’re not good enough because it’s just not true. You are already the best you so pat yourself on the back. Can you be better? Always! But you already are the best and only you. I know, shocking.
And with that, I leave you with a selfie roundup! Because when I am feeling hesitant or unsure of myself, it’s looking at how awesome you guys are that snaps me out of it. So thank you for sending me your selfies and reminding me that a 13 mile meltdown is nothing more than a single 13 mile meltdown. You are all incredible and keep me going.
How can you be part of the next roundup? I am SO glad you asked! Use the hashtag #RunSelfieRepeat on Twitter and Instagram or email me at RunSelfieRepeat@gmail.com! Until tomorrow friends, #RunSelfieRepeat.