My Biggest Regret Is Not Believing In Myself

It was only 2 hours after I finished my first marathon that I decided that I wanted to run a sub 4 hour marathon. I was sitting in the back of my parent's car, head propped up by the window, physically exhausted, when my Dad asked me if I would ever run a marathon again. "Yes," I said back to him, "but next time, I want to do it under 4 hours." It took me 5 marathons to run a sub 4 and even when I did, I still didn't believe that I could do it.

The fact that I was afraid to fail is one of my biggest regrets. Looking back, I remember how hesitant I felt to announce that I was going to try. I was convinced that finishing a marathon with a smile on my face was enough of an accomplishment. And it is! Being able to run a marathon is an incredible accomplishment in and of itself but I couldn't help but want to see just how fast I could go. Then last year, when I ran the Berlin Marathon, I finished in 4 hours and 2 minutes, and I felt disappointed that I didn't 100% after my goal. I thought it would be an easier pill if I danced around the goal and just hoped it would happen.  

If I could go back in time, I'd commit 100% to running a sub 4. It hurts to remember how much I doubted myself. That's a part of the reason why I'm so nervous about my upcoming Boston Marathon qualifying (BQ) attempt during this year's Chicago Marathon. I'm all in. I'm doing everything I can to make it happen and I know that if I fall short, I'll still feel proud but I'm still afraid of failing. I know it's crazy but it's how I feel.

One things for sure, after last year, I'll never stop myself from fully committing to a goal again. I know I can do it, and I know that it may not happen on the first try. And if it doesn't, I'm not giving up. BQ or Bust!

Until next time, #RunSelfieRepeat.

1 Comment

Kelly Roberts

My name is Kelly Roberts and I am a 25 year old New York City resident. My story made headlines when I took selfies with hot guys “hottie hunting” my way through the NYC Half Marathon. My blog, www.RunSelfieRepeat.com is bursting with humor and personal stories that lend an insight into the world of running and lead you to believe that just about anyone, regardless of their fitness level, can and should fall in love with running. Though currently an avid runner, I never would have predicted I would run marathons. I was the kid who used to hide in the bushes or play dead to get out of running the mile in school. I HATED running. But running has given me a purpose. It’s shown me that I really am limitless. In the two years since I started running, I’ve run multiple half marathons, 10ks, and 5ks, and two full marathons. My mission is to inspire others to find the courage to say yes to themselves all the while making them laugh hysterically because laughing is the solution to everything.