Holy sh*t. I feel like a cuss word is appropriate right now because this heat is savage. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS HEAT?!?! I mean MY GOD. When is it going to end!
Thank God this week was a "down" week (I put "down" in quotes because it was still a 40 mile week with speed work and a 15 mile run...did down week get redefined? Just checking because to me, down week has me on a slip and slide or a pool sipping a corona. JUST SAYING.) The heat ventured into unbearable territory on Thursday when we were at the track.
I literally felt like I was running through a steam room, that's how hot and humid it was. The workout was tough but short (THANK YOU JOSH) and my friend Megha was in town to chase which was a happy surprise. We took off pretty fast and on my last mile, I was really feeling the heat. My teammate Dom jumped in to help me finish my last lap and I know he could tell I was starting to suffer because he turns to me and says, "Don't give up on me". It clicked. The excuses didn't seem good enough and just by reminding me not to give up, I was able to power through.
Sometimes it's hard to remember why it's worth it when everything hurts and getting comfortable sounds so enticing. Yesterday I was talking to my friend Chris Heuisler about BQ training (BQ means Boston Marathon qualifying time) and he's become a really amazing resource for me. He magically gets in touch with me whenever I'm running into a mental block (RUNNING PUN) and he somehow knows EXACTLY what to say. Right before I got his text, I was reading Desi Linden's post Olympic marathon interview. In the interview, she was saying how she wasn't upset with her performance because she gave everything she had. I know that if I give everything I have in training and on race day, then there's no way I can fail but I still feel that fear of falling short. I still feel afraid of quitting on myself.
Chris reminded me that I have to want it that I need to know what I'm running for.
I've talked about this before but when things get really hard, I have a habit of quitting on myself and that's something running has helped me fight over the years. Trying to run a Boston qualifying time is really, really, really f*cking hard. But so was running my first half marathon! I'll never forget how close I came to walking off at mile 11 of my first half marathon. I was sure I wouldn't make it. But with the help of another runner, I finished. And I proved to myself that if I can take one more step, anything is possible. I just have to keep going forward.
And this heat, though unbearable, kind of makes me feel like a badass. Sure it's hell in the moment but afterwards, I feel like an Olympian.
Just finding the motivation to make it out the door in the heat feels impossible but you make it happen. You slow down, drink tons of water, try to run early (I fail in that department), find shade, and endure the mental games. It isn't easy or necessarily enjoyable but if you can find the fun in it, you'll survive.
Summer running isn't easy friends but if we can survive the chafing, then our Fall personal bests are inevitable!
Just because something is hard doesn't mean that it's impossible. Believe in yourself, figure out what you're running for, and then do EVERYTHING you can to give 100%. (That's a pep talk to myself just FYI.)
We can do this. There's no giving up!
Until next time, #RunSelfieRepeat.