The 10 Stages of New Year's Resolution

It's that time of the year again! People all over the United States are getting ready to make incredibly lofty goals that they almost immediately forget about. Now don't get me wrong, I love a New Year's Resolution! But New Year's Resolutions are like a bad car wreck! You don't see it coming and you can't look away! And then you're left with a huge bill and a headache. These are the 10 stages of making a New Year's Resolution --

10. Slight possible intoxication.

NBC

NBC

9 times out of 10 I make my New Year's Resolutions after enjoying a few craft beers or some Chardonnay. (No? Just me?) There's no better way to set an intimidating or a lofty goal than by wrapping yourself in a warm blanket of intoxication and liquid courage. (And a drunk New Year's Resolution is rarely taken seriously so there's your "get out of jail free" card should you need it.)

9. The Facebook Status Update.

MTV / sooawesam

MTV / sooawesam

Does a New Year's Resolution even count if you don't announce it on social media? (Yes. Yes it does.) Why wouldn't you want to proclaim your crazy New Year's Resolution to your friends, coworkers and strangers from High School that you haven't spoken to in years? Hold yourself accountable and announce that you intend to learn a new language, lose 10 pounds or climb Mount Kilimanjaro. Please don't rob your online friends of the opportunity to make sweet jokes at your expense. (Or support you. I guess it could go either way.)

8. The Group Text.

NBC / MakeAGif.com

NBC / MakeAGif.com

After that status update goes live, text all your buddies! Bonus points if you can convince someone else to join you on your New Year's Resolution quest! (I'm actually being serious. There's strength in numbers. If you want to start running, grab a friend and register for a race together.)

7. The Shopping Trip.

NBC

NBC

No fitness inspired New Year's Resolution is complete without a new somethin' somethin' to workout in! Maybe treat yourself to some new shoes, a supportive sports bra or a flashy gym membership! There's no way you'll ever regret spending lots of money on workout clothes! Yoga pants are the new skinny jean! TREAT YOURSELF TO SOME LULULEMON!

6. The Purge.

Columbia Pictures

Columbia Pictures

December 31st isn't just 'National Day Before National Hangover Day', it's a day to consume all the delicious food and alcohol you won't be allowed to have when you begin your, "New Year New You New Year's Resolution!" So think of it like your last hurrah or an opportunity to get all the bad stuff out of your system before you start anew the following day.

5. The Realization.

Bravo

Bravo

Then you wake up on January 1st confused about who you are and what you've resolved to do. Is that the hangover or your New Year's Resolution setting in? Maybe it's both! Either way, it feels like a tidal wave of fear, regret, and nausea. (OK that last part is probably just the hangover but who knows! I wanted to throw up after I registered for my first marathon!) Just go get a burrito! New Year's Resolutions don't ACTUALLY start until January 2nd anyways. Everyone knows that! Give yourself a buffer! Set yourself up for success!

4. The First Attempt.

10 Stages of New Year's Resolutions

Your first attempt is often your first taste of impossible! But don't sweat! (Well...you're going to sweat. I meant that in a "never fear" kind of way...) There's this beautiful website called Pinterest and on said website, you can find all sorts of inspirational quotes like, "Today's impossible is tomorrow's normal" and "This was your idea. Suck it up it's only day 1 you dummy." Go find some inspirational quotes to pin to your beautiful and inspiring Pinterest board, dig deep and keep with it. A good rule of thumb is to set one big goal, smaller weekly goals and then one daily goal. Sounds like a lot of goals right? It is. New Year, busy and slightly OCD you! (That's what works for me. I'm not a doctor or a Scientologist. I don't know everything.)

3. The Set Back.

10 Stages of New Year's Resolutions

The Holidays are officially a distant memory and your life is back to normal. Right when you think you're finally able to dedicate yourself to your New Year's Resolution, in walks Winter. How are you supposed to motivate yourself to get out of bed in the morning when it's so damn cold? I don't expect you to! It's cold man! And treadmills are basically hell on earth! 

2. Bargaining.

E!

E!

No one said New Year's Resolutions needed to happen right in the beginning of the New year! You have a full 12 months to make them a reality! Why not wait until Spring to get started?

1. Disappointment.

Paramount

Paramount

And in a blink of an eye, an entire year flies by. How did your New Year's Resolution go? Yeah...we've all been there. Hey, there is always next year!

Here are my two cents on New Year's Resolutions, I love them but I think people put way too much pressure on themselves to make something happen in a really difficult time of year! Last year I made three New Year's Resolutions --

1. Run a Marathon in a different country. (CHECK!)

2. Run a sub 4 hour marathon. (CHECK)

3. Learn a new language. (NOPE.)

How did I do? 2/3! 2/3 is a win for me because I tend to strike out every single year. But if I'm being honest, I didn't really start working towards my resolutions until Spring. There's nothing wrong with setting different goals throughout the year! But my best piece of advice is not to wait until January 1st to get started on a goal, just start today. Make it personal and then make it possible. All you have to do is care enough to try. Change lives in discomfort! Until next time, #RunSelfieRepeat.

 

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Kelly Roberts

My name is Kelly Roberts and I am a 25 year old New York City resident. My story made headlines when I took selfies with hot guys “hottie hunting” my way through the NYC Half Marathon. My blog, www.RunSelfieRepeat.com is bursting with humor and personal stories that lend an insight into the world of running and lead you to believe that just about anyone, regardless of their fitness level, can and should fall in love with running. Though currently an avid runner, I never would have predicted I would run marathons. I was the kid who used to hide in the bushes or play dead to get out of running the mile in school. I HATED running. But running has given me a purpose. It’s shown me that I really am limitless. In the two years since I started running, I’ve run multiple half marathons, 10ks, and 5ks, and two full marathons. My mission is to inspire others to find the courage to say yes to themselves all the while making them laugh hysterically because laughing is the solution to everything.