Taper madness is no joke. With 6 days until the NYC Marathon I am FINALLY in the homestretch of this god forsaken taper. It’s been a year and four months since my last marathon and I completely forgot what tapering feels like! This is torture! I have SO MUCH TIME! I am running on a serious lack of endorphins! I’m losing my damn mind!
Taper is like that one kid in the class who is a real jerk and everyone hates. But then at the end of the school year you learn that the jerk just needed some attention and was misunderstood. The taper is the real test of a marathon. If you can survive the 3 week mileage decrease, you can run a marathon. Here are some things you will experience during a taper:
All the energy. Never in your life will you want to run 6 miles more than you will during a taper. “What do you mean I only have a 3 miler today!?!?! I’ll do 6, what’s the difference between 3 miles and 6 miles anyways?” Well for one there’s a 3 mile difference. I will say this to you in all seriousness, honor thy taper. Yes stopping yourself at 3 or 4 miles will be difficult but it’s necessary that you run only 3 or 4 miles when your plan calls for it! Let your body recover otherwise all this madness will be for nothing.
Sitting around isn’t going to feel like it makes much sense. Neither does going from 40 miles a week down to 30 and then 20. How can you run a marathon by taking time off? You may find yourself doubting everything from your life choices to your shoe choices. “I didn’t do enough strength training! I need to get the gym ASAP.” No, no you don’t. Cool it. Trust your plan and trust your training. What’s done is done. “But I don’t like my marathon outfit, I need new everything.” No, no you don’t. What you have is awesome, don’t go buy new shoes. Go start watching Scandal and practice your marathon skills on a television set.
This was new for me, but similar to Runger I am finding myself incredibly hostile. I’m normally really upbeat and jolly but I will argue with anything and anyone right now. Take it easy on the sassy-ness. I would even suggest avoiding people or important decisions, ESPECIALLY loved ones/significant others. I argued with my sister over not wanting to make her birthday dinner reservation. Who does that? This monster did that.
I feel like a pregnant woman. I am always hungry. Thank god I am starting my carb load because I want to eat all the time. And there’s a difference between mindless eating and carb loading. I am a bottomless pit right now.
I already have a really hard time sitting still but during this taper? FORGET ABOUT IT! I was leaping out of bed at 7am over the weekend and blowing up my friends’ phones. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?” “WHAT ARE YOU DOING TODAY?” “LET’S DO SOMETHING!” "WHY AREN'T YOU RESPONDING TO ME?" "I'M COMING OVER!" I have been walking EVERYWHERE because I can’t sit still. Saturday I convinced my sister to walk 5 miles from her apartment in midtown to our best friend’s apartment downtown because it was a rest day and I just needed to MOVE!
6. Irrational Decisions
I went to target for laundry detergent and spent over $70.00 on nonsense. I bought a piñata! I cannot rationally tell you why I bought anything I bought. My advice is to not leave the house with credit cards and avoid online shopping at all costs. There are no rational choices, explanations or answers during a taper.
7. An Overwhelming Desire to Be Competitive
I wish I could describe this one but honestly the more I try the more insane I sound. I am competing with strangers to do things that are not even competition. From walking up the stairs of a subway platform first to pressing an elevator button first, you name it, I’m going to try to win. As if New York weren’t crazy enough now normal people have to worry about me competing against them while they do mundane things.
So that’s what you have to look forward to. WHO WANTS TO RUN A MARATHON? But the taper is only 3 weeks. 2 weeks really, the first is basically a taper wink. Just keep telling yourself it’s only 3 weeks, it’s only 3 weeks, it’s only 3 weeks. And if you can beat the taper, you have nothing to worry about. The best way to make it out alive is to stay busy, eat, stay calm, count to 10 when you are feeling hostile and sassy, and just try not to lose it. Go clean out your closet or garage, spend time with all the people you’ve neglected, walk the dog a couple times, go out to eat, binge watch a new TV show, go see a movie or some live theatre, read a book, go on an adventure, or sleep! Do anything that will take your mind off the fact that you aren’t running.
Anyone get outside this weekend? Remember to share your pictures on Instagram and The Twitter using the #SIX02Moment! What’s the SIX02 Moment? It’s what inspires you and motivates you to be the best you! From setting a new goal, to accomplishing something spectacular the SIX02 Moment is a moment to share. I’ve teamed up with SIX02 to run the NYC Marathon and if we can get 602 people to use the hashtag #SIX02Moment then SIX02 will match all the funds I raise for Team for Kids, the charity I am running the marathon with between 10/23-11/3! We want to know what pushes you further, what excites and terrifies you and what you get out of bed for in the morning. We want you to share YOU! It’s your time and it starts at SIX:02.
Happy Marathon week everyone! Only 6 days to go and I am getting EXTREMELY excited!!!! Until tomorrow, #RunSelfieRepeat.