10 Embarrassing Realities of Running

Ask a runner about their most embarrassing running story and they’ll probably respond with, “How much time do you have?” From potty accidents to falling on your face, here are 10 embarrassing running realities every runner can relate to:     

1. Falling, Tripping, and Colliding.

From colliding with runners at water stations, tripping over potholes, cracks, roots, curbs, trees, small dogs, cones, spectators, children, or most commonly your own two feet, tripping and falling happens and it happens often. Just make friends with the floor because you'll be spending a lot of time on it.

2. Melt Downs and Tantrums.

“Who’s that crazy person crying on the curb?” People driving by will wonder as they observe the shit fit you are throwing on the corner of a busy intersection. Running is a wonderful time to get away from the world and be alone with your thoughts. But the flip side to that coin is that sometimes shit gets real and you find yourself having a mental breakdown. I’ve cried on more curbs and in more races than I have anywhere else in the world.

3. Embarrassing Race Day Photos

One of my better photos.

One of my better photos.

Probably the biggest sucker punch to your ego, that moment when you sort through all your race day photos. You remember looking like Pamela Anderson in Baywatch, hamming it up for the cameras but the photos tell a different story. You look like a panicked elephant who’s about to be put down in every single photo. Even that awesome finish line photo you remember posing for makes you look like a deranged manatee.

4. Hugging Strangers You Mistake for Your Family or Friends.

Twice now I’ve run up to hug strangers who I, drunk with fatigue and exhaustion, mistake for my friends or family.  I hope you like giving strangers hugs because it happens.

5. Being Lapped.

As you approach the end of your first lap, the spectators erupt into applause. You think to yourself, “My God! All this for me?!” You wave to the crowd, blow kisses perhaps, and realize that you have been lapped by the approaching elite athletes racing into the finish line. Those cheers aren't for you, they are for those speed demons who are almost done. “Jesus Christ!” You exclaim, “I’m not even halfway done.”

6. Beautiful Muscle Cramps That Will Have You Rolling on the Floor.

Welcome to the world of endurance races where cramps are more common than candy on Halloween. Mid race you’ll feel your leg seize up and suddenly you’re rolling on the floor begging for mercy. “WHY ME! CRAMPPPPPPPPPPPPPP! PAINNNNNNNNNN!” And you lay there, pride wounded, until you can either rub it out, limp it out, or inhale some salt packets and continue on.

7. Overreacting When You Press Pause on Your Running App and Forget to Press Resume.

I’ve cussed my iPhone out MORE than a hundred times, I’ll admit it. Nothing hurts more than the realization that two miles after you pressed pause you forgot to press resume. You know, because if it’s not documented it didn’t happen.  Damn you pause button mishaps!

8. Talking to Yourself Like a Crazy Person.

Is that a crazy person or a runner? I can't tell! Go spectate at any race and you'll see thousands of runners muttering to themselves like crazy people. Things I often find myself muttering during runs,

“Get over it, you’re almost halfway there.”

“You are a beast, keep going.”

“Suck it up.”

“Damnit I forgot my GU!”

“OH HE IS CUTE! HOW YOU DOINNNNNNNNNG.”

“WHY DO I CONTINUE TO PUT MYSELF THROUGH THIS! THIS IS THE LAST RACE I AM EVER RUNNING! YOU HEAR ME! I HATE THIS! I HATE RUNNING! I QUIT! I HATE THIS SO MUCH!”

“This is amazing!!!!"

“ONE MORE MILE! ONE MORE MILE!”

“Get out of my way! Jesus who stops in the middle of the road!? PULL OVER!”

9. Forgetting to Lock the Door of the Porter Potty.

bathroom

Those nerves and fatigue will do things to your brain and more often than not you forget to lock the door to your porter potty. Just accept the fact that you are going to have someone walk in on you doing your business. It get’s easier though, I’m finally at the point where I don’t scream or get bashful. I just say, “Oops! Good morning!”

10. Almost Pooping Your Pants.

its happening

Oh yeah, when you're a runner you will find yourself almost pooping your pants at least once a month. This is why it’s important to always run where you know where the nearest bathroom is. Isn’t running glamorous?

If this doesn’t make you want to become a runner, I don’t know what will. Isn’t running fun?! What are some of your most embarrassing running moments? Lord knows I have more than I know what to do with! Until tomorrow, #RunSelfieRepeat.

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Kelly Roberts

It all started when a silly joke made headlines back in 2014 when I took selfies with hot guys “hottie hunting” my way through the New York City Half Marathon. But ironically enough, I haven't always been a runner. As the self-proclaimed former President of the "I f*cking hate running club", I spent most of my life finding ways to avoid physical activity. Growing up, I missed over 70 days of PE my senior year. Working out was something I thought I had to suffer through in order to lose weight. 

Then, in 2009, my younger brother passed away unexpectedly and struggling to manage my grief, I gained more than 75 pounds. With the weight gain came a new fight to regain my sense of self and learn to love the body I saw when I looked in the mirror. Then one Thanksgiving morning, drowning in grief and self doubt, I decided to go for a run. I didn't make it half way down my street before I had to stop to walk but for some reason, struggling forward made more sense than getting back into bed. It turns out that running is a lot like grief, neither ever really get easier, you just get stronger. 

Over time, I realized that while some people are in fact born runners, others are made. I created this blog Run, Selfie, Repeat and my new podcast by the same name with the hopes to inspire others to say yes to themselves while making them laugh hysterically because laughing, in my opinion, is the solution to everything. 

Named by Women's Running as one of twenty women who are changing the sport of running and by Competitor Magazine as one of 12 Influential and inspiring runners under 30, my mission is to inspire others to get embrace a healthy lifestyle and pursue the strongest version of themselves possible.